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Noel Martinez – The Gangster Wannabee, Soon To Be Father of The Year (Lorain, Ohio)


Noel Martinez is a gangster wannabee who is soon to be father of the year in Lorain, Ohio.  He’s about to have a kid and he is definitely not ready to have one at all.  He still acts like he is 14 years old, he messages people talking about his soon to be baby momma – threatening them.  As you can tell by the pictures (two paragraphs down) this kid isn’t a threat to anyone, he’s not even a threat to a middle schooler.  He is about to have a kid in August and is still a child and claims that he’s in a gang.  He carries guns, he says he has bands, big bands, ten bands to be exactly from drug dealing.

If this kid sold heroin or crack he would def get robbed.  He claims he will kidnap someone and have their parents begging for them back.   He claims he’s a shooter and he acts like he has everything and everyone wants to be like him.  I mean we can tell he is no father type at all acting this way.  Maybe when the child is born someone should call CPS to let them know this dude is truly drug dealing in Lorain.  Even they will look at him and laugh and close the case…

He also posted on FB that he’s bout to be gone for 15 years, but if u look up felony court in Elyria he doesn’t have any charges lol.  I don’t know why posting that your about to go do a lot of years is “Kool” now-a-days.  Prison would love this kid he’s def a fuck boy for sure.   I sure hope he straightens up if he is going to go do time acting like that.  He will get sold to the lifers, no one likes fairy tale camp fire stories.  I hope he wakes up soon.  As you can tell in the Elyria felony court site there’s two Noel Martinez records.  The first one is from 2001, we know this kid is def not that old, he’s twenty one and looks ten.  The second record is not even criminal.

HAWK Says:  Well this is a good thing that he doesn’t have a criminal record.  Let’s keep it that way.  Perhaps he could become “The Father of the Year”.  Only time will tell…

Noel Martinez

His baby mom already caught him cheating as well – she sent someone these messages when she found them in his phone the other week.  He really sounds like a keeper ladies so plz choose wisely who you choose to have a kid with and make sure they are a grown man.

The Bottom Line:  Interesting submission.  Could this perhaps have been submitted by the baby mamma herself?  Indeed having a father of a child that you classify as being someone who “isn’t a man” isn’t necessarily an ideal situation.  However, if true, this just doesn’t fall on the responsibility of Mr. Martinez, but also on the mother for making the decision and choice to have unprotected sex, without contraceptives – condoms, birth control (which are free at Planned Parenthood) or to take day after pills with said individual.  In any case, time changes people, 21 is a young age, plenty of room for growth and maturation to be had by Mr. Martinez (and by both parties in this situation to be honest).  Best of luck to both of you!

SCUMBAGGED Tip:  Fast money can be fun, but it goes fast and comes with severe consequences.  There is no value in the dollar once you have your first son or daughter.  They then should become priceless and you should have a different viewpoint in life.  Hustling to make ends meet so they can get a new pair of Jordan’s and clothes and so you can smoke weed and party at the same time, doesn’t translate into a long term sustainable reality.  In truth, readjusting, getting a job and earning money the slow way will be much more appreciated and have a larger impact in the long run.  Lawyers, bonds and incarcerations add up, over time the fast money becomes less than a minimum wage job flipping burgers at fucking McDonalds.  Choose your path wisely, don’t be a scumbag…



  1. The baby momma writes all of this but then is still posting on Facebook “that’s my baby” and tagging Noel in stuff. When you first read this you feel bad for a second but then you see them still interacting just fine acting like she didn’t just post a status asking how to post to scum bag saying “I got a lot to say”. I don’t feel bad at all. You’re the dumb ass that isn’t leaving him.

  2. Amen to the “Scummbaged Tip” at the end of the article!.

    P.S. Why does he think he’s scaring someone when he looks like a lesbian/dike lol?


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